Comic #479

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Which one is moron and which one is stinkwad?

Also, that’s not how exposure therapy is supposed to work.

I feel like we’re approaching a pivotal moment in the story progression here. After all, we’re halfway through the quest for the swords of awesomeness, ready to travel to a new continent! Exciting times.

See you next week!

-Jesse

499 thoughts on “Comic #479”

    3. Xane

      hey everyone! I decided to start up a private group for the LoM characters!
      Current members are me, and aley…… Still waiting for Cyril, Hannah, juniper, Tyrone, smurg, Gus, Sophia, -a few others-, and MAXX himself! If any of you read this, please reply so that i can add you name to the list!

      (P.s. In order for it to be legit, you have to have a gravatar and the name, AND a description of them in the gravatar info section, AAAAAAND must PROVE they are not fake by answering a question, if you do all that, you will be accepted into the LoM character team! )

      -Xane the Assassin

      SHANK!

      7. Smurg

        I hereby declare my complete independence from your group, as for all citizens of Goblintown.

        Concerning this question of yours, you may address it to the Senate, so it can be answered democratically.

      8. Xane

        smurg, how ’bout this, you may partake in our conversations whenever you shall choose, and i will count you as part of the group, but you can remain independent. how bout that?

      9. Smurg

        I hereby approve of the communication method between all present parties named “group”.

        Also, please acknowledge the joined document, which is a non-responsibility and non-endorsement disclosure excluding myself and my concitizens from any action carried on by whole or part of the group.

        (There is no such document yet, we are yet lacking a printing factory.)

      11. Xane

        dude,you dont have to be so nerdy. i understand that you are trying to make the world a better place for goblins, but seriously.
        also, the group is just on the internet, not an actual place.

      12. Smurg

        What I meant is that these conversations kind of invade the comments section when extended like now. A few comments/interactions per publication is enough, and as long as they might be of interest or funny to many.

        Current talks are about organization : this should be private. You mentioned a private group. Where is the internet location where this setup blabla could be achieved without encumbering the comments section?

        As of the nerdiness, like you mentionned, I’m striving to free the goblins from the image and role the world imposes upon them. Under such consideration, we won’t mold ourselves from the will of vulgar naiads. ;p

      13. Xane

        all right fine, just at least make it understandable.
        and i get your point on the length.
        i also agree on…..WAIT A SECOND. did you just call me VULGAR???

      14. Smurg

        The expression “vulgar naiads” could point to any individual naiad. If there is no such naiad in existence, it points to no one.

        I understand from your statement that you yourself affirm yourself as vulgar? Your self-perception doesn’t concern the free thought of goblins. If you experience self-conflict or suffer from psychological bias, (including impulses of mass-murder), consult Hannah free of charge.

        Pizza is also a great medicine.

        By the way… WHERE IS HANNAH? O_O

      25. Xane

        ok, im hungry too. lemme call them. huh. nothings happening.
        wait a sec…….. the power cord is cut. Aley must have lazered it when he was here.

      35. iCyanz

        Don’t worry Xane. I’ll get Hannah

        ME:HANNAH GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE XANE WANTS TO TALK

        HANNAH:IM NOT TALKING TO HIM! STUPID NAIAD!

        ME:I HAVE A WEAPON

    4. Xane

      current members are Xane, Aley, Xylan, Maple, and Smurg. we need more! where is everyone? ive seen maxx SOMEWHERE in the comments before… but where?

      17. Xane

        dude, i KNOW you took them., if i wanted to kill you because of it, you would be dead already. and i thought you were the smart one in the group!

      18. Cyril

        Well, I AM smart… but I’m wary about this sort of thing. I prefer to have a 10-mile radius between me and anyone with a sharp object. Ever wonder why Hannah is usually between me and Maxx?
        Well, if you’ll let me keep the books… I’ll be back for more. 🙂

      25. Cyril

        FINE I’ll settle for nutmeg. Don’t make me send June over there, she has plenty of dirt to crush you with!

      27. Cyril

        Hmm, that bargain needs some considering…
        Maxx LOVES his new Muramasa. I could send him over there.
        And don’t forget Hannah’s beheading ax.

      28. Xane

        i fought hannah before and kicked her ass. i fought YOU before and kicked your ass. i fought Maxx before and kicked his ass. AND I DID IT ALL AT THE SAME TIME. i REALLY doubt june would make a difference, and ive been getting faster and stronger.

      29. Cyril

        Aww man, can’t I just have some books to read? Maxx doesn’t offer a very good life for an intellectual.

      32. Xane

        of course i like reading, do you think xygvone was the only naiad that reads books?
        and sure.
        wait. FORTY? THEN WHAT HAPPEND TO THE OTHER 200 THAT WERE IN HERE? THERES ONLY 10 LEFT!

      33. PegenWaukegan

        Let’s see… Thirty were burned when June crash landed… Forty by Aley’s stray lasers… Ten from June’s gunfire… And the last 70 were crushed by the Wrenchinator.

      36. Cyril

        I sent the message from a different device.
        Anyway, Flower says that you shouldn’t say that Rabbit Storm is a bad move, it’s just that the user was too bad to do it right…
        Hey, wait a minute!

      37. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        I AM CRASHING THIS PART- oh *bleep*. Aley, Maxx, AND Xane?!?! You know what, I making another account for Sophia.

      42. Cyril

        You have to rename yourself as a LOM character.
        Then you have to change your picture to the character’s face.
        Lastly you have to change your info to that character’s profile.

      46. Smurg

        Oh no, please don’t cry again Sophia! ;_; Until now, 100% of the time you cried, a goblin deserted our GreatNationInBecoming.

        If you don’t cry, I’ll… hmm… I’ll give you a pat.

      51. Smurg

        Nonononononononono, you’re not crying sweetie! You think you are, but you’re not! See? *pat pat*

        You’re a good girl and a great mechanic! And I LOVE YOU DEARLY! All is fine.

      53. Smurg

        No, no, I’m certain that he loves his buddy bracelet!

        (oops, I’m failing here as a mediator… :/ I should change the subject)

        But hey, what about this wrenches-boat? This, is sooooo interesting, tell us more!

      54. Cyril

        ‘Sweetie’? “Good girl’? I LOVE YOU DEARLY?”
        umm… Smurg? Do you want me to get Zok over here to help you?

      56. Smurg

        (Pssst Cyril… If she cries, who knows what will happen? You might get hurt a lot you know… and our GreatNationInBecoming might all burn at once.

        Now tell her something nice.)

      58. Cyril

        FINE. Hey Sophia, I remember Gus saying to me the other day that he really loves your boat design! (Heaven knows I don’t) So please stop talking, Lord Smurg needs his sanity.

      59. Smurg

        Don’t go in there! There’s nothing there really, except… boring… documents… about future laws.

        And until you find the original Gus, I’m pretty certain Cyril here will make an excellent substitute.

        There, Cyril! I present you to your new friend!

        *walks away

      62. Cyril

        Well- um- I think- um- GOTTA GO BYE! *slams door. Screams, runs where I stored my books and I start reading the thickest one.*

      68. Cyril

        >:(
        You can snap my arms off,
        You can degrade my manliness,
        but NO ONE, and I MEAN NO ONE can STEAL MY BOOKS!

      73. Smurg

        *Walks in and greets Cyril*

        Cyril, you are cordially invited to join our movement toward FreedomToBeRegardlessOfPastArbitraryConceptions. This will allow you to stop worrying about your “manliness”, and just be anything you are.

        *Hears Sophia requesting him*

        Hum, I really have to go! I have to… go vote. For our next… hum…. for… for a vacant administrative post.

        *Runs away*

        (But where is Gus? The Goblin Council urgently needs him NOW!)

      84. sophiathemechanic

        Xane (Who is the leader of this group) said you have to make your “about me” tell about your character in first person view. YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE ANYTHING WRITTEN IN YOUR ABOUT ME.

      85. Cyril

        Hey everyone Cyril is back!
        Flower told me to “finally do some exercise you fat bag of bones” so I went biking with Hannah. So, how’s it goin everyone?

      86. Cyril

        Thank you Smurg for your kind gesture of letting me join the FreedomToBeRegardlessOfPastArbitraryConceptions, or FTBROPAC, and welcome, Remiel!

      125. Xane

        ITS OVER 9000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      22. Michael

        Okay… Xane is like a thousand… (ELDER DISCOUNT!) He take’s his baths in the dungeon… He talks to himself sometimes… He creates drama for the comic… His sand shark hands are ripped off some innocent wax statue… Next, he was crushed by A GIANT BUNNY… and… The reason he’s so crazy is becuz he wuz kicked out of BOARDING SCHOOL and he had to be home(more like dungeon) schooled for all his life. Finally, He’s a wierdo and my favorite character in the comic besides the Merchant.

      14. Tyrone

        Can someone get me out of here?
        I’m reeeeealy sick of Remiel. When will he learn that angel babes are out of my league?

      55. Cyril

        I read a lot in my childhood. However, my parents didn’t like me very much and abandoned me in a desert. After that, I had to practice some survival skills I had read about recently. I had to hide in a hole every night while the zombies roamed. And during the day, I slept. This went on for many years, and I was miserable. And then Maxx came…

      56. Xane

        i was born into the Naiad Royal family, not too long before the great war, later i learned of my insane speed which not many other naiads get.
        a little while after that i learned some water magic and now i can control water as well as i can breathe.

      58. sophiathemechanic

        I WAS TOO ENERGETIC SO MY FAMILY SENT ME AWAY. THEN I WAS KIDNAPPED BY THE NAIAD AND I BULKED UP THEIR BASE FOR MY FREEDOM, WHICH I DIDN’T GET SO WHEN GUS CAME WE ESCAPED MY IMPENETRABLE MASTER PIECE THE END.

      59. Tyrone

        People don’t really know alot about my life story, so here it is. I was born on another continent with some boring parents. I didn’t have the best childhood. I was bullied by some of the other kids at my school for various reasons. My regular retort (“I can party better than you”) didn’t usually work on them. So, I snuck away on a boat to this continent for a new life with some new people. Remiel came up to me as I entered and told me I was immortal. Of course I thought that was amazing, but I didn’t realize I could still die. I learned that after some fairy “BWEENED” me. Not pleasant. I haven’t had much luck since I came here. It’s hard, ya know? I put on the self-assured attitude because…well, I feel alone. I really need a hug, honestly.

      29. Smurg

        Gus, finally! We have rejoiced at your coming. The GoblinNation requests you use your genius at your own will the best of our future! Will you thereupon consent to this proposition? In exchange, you’ll be offered food and shelter*** and praise.

        ***Conditions may apply. Shelter doesn’t include protection from some mechanics.

    1. Plokijjikolp, You Were Wrong

      That will never happen. This is Legend of Maxx, not Terraria. Jesse told that this world is a little different than the original Terraria world.

  5. 16astrid

    I think the orange one was Moron, and the green one was Stinkwad.

    What? Sorry, Cyril I missed that last part. There’s a shark on your face. Serene? Was that it? Hmm. Not what I’d call it, but okay! The wizard knows best! 😀

    I’m surprised that they made it through there without encountering any problems… It’s a bit suspicious. Oh, well. Thanks, Jesse, for not dragging it out through a bunch of comics. (Though that would have been okay too. I’m just glad the plot is moving fast again. It’s great to have a change of scenery. 🙂 )

    1. The Draem Stag

      *both of them are stinkwad and moron.

      Also, Hannah’s gonna need a lot more than surgery to fix that mess of a battle wound for Cyril. 😐

      1. Bystander # 78904658

        exactly.
        Let’s just hope she didn’t leave home without that coins-health pot thing that she revealed in the interviews!

        Panel 9: Is cyril’s face supposed to be paler than normal?

    2. Jesse

      Glad you like the pacing! I wanted to move things on a little bit, since all the travelling was back-tracking. I figure there will be humor enough in comics to come that I don’t need to stretch things out! Especially since I do plan on concluding things at some point in the future.

      8. cyrilsrabbit

        I hate to rain on your guy’s parade, but I think that your Legend of Maxx conversation took up 1/3 of the page.

      2. Bystander # 78904658

        Because Cyril went on his utterly worthless monologue about the ocean only to be attacked by a shark. june wouldn’t imagine that…

        note: After I typed this out and read I realized that yes. She would imagine that..

      2. Bystander # 78904658

        It’s because alot of time is passing so inbetween panels is probably 3 days.

        Also, cyril could have broken his arm while pointing…
        Remember comic #357? He broke his arm wiping out a grease stain…
        …
        …

  10. Darkcaster65

    First trip to the ocean I had was when I found a water chest so I tried getting it. I failed miserably as shark ate my body to bits. Also how do I delete a comment where I used my twitter account on?

    2. Dark Aeon

      And as emperor, you get thrown in lava!
      Cyril: Nononononoononononononono
      Remiel(anyone remember him?): You’re only allowed three-HOLY $#!T Wall of Flesh. I’m out. Peace.

      1. LordSkeleborg

        Lord Blanka (My Terraria Character, who looks like Blanka himself, but wearing Beetle Armor): F@#$ YOU, REMIEL!
        *_(Lord Blanka gets out a Terra Blade and slices Remiel into tiny, itty-bity pieces…)*_

  12. Maddogman365

    Jesse doesn’t ever need to end the comics because it could be based on the updates and maxx doin’ stupid stuff after he gets the swords!

      1. Bystander # 78904658

        More like Apprentice bait… hehehe
        You know, because he is an apprentice wizard?
        Also, I think that the magic flower somehow willed all those creatures into attacking him. As some sort of cruel pay back for being eaten and forced to live inside cyril’s “smelly head”

    1. Bystander # 78904658

      no no no.
      Sharks are sandy and capable of being gloves in their infancy.
      We are seeing an adult shark there. The sandy ones only spawn and roam directly beyond the world border.

  17. Duckfeet face

    I wonder if Cyril being mauled by a shark will be followed with something to. To with the duke (duke fishron) even though tish would satisfy many what with being that everyone like watching Cyril impaled horrifically and all but since the duke (duke fishron) is a hardmode boss this probably isn’t going to happen

    1. LordSkeleborg

      Are you Ocram?
      …
      …
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      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
      …
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      …
      …
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      …
      Or are you Cthulhu?

    2. Xane

      Hey mystery, I had a message for you:
      ILL SNAP YOUR SPINE AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR NOSE YOU LITTLE INSIGNIFICANT WEAKILING! YOU ARE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME!

      3. Twuster

        If anything, it might be the cultist.
        Shame he didn’t have his own audacious soundtrack.
        I think it’s audacious?
        I dunno.

      11. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        *Still with The Battle Wrench teamed up with tobtob, exploring, destroying my enemies, killing Tyrone.*

      13. ObscureOdin

        * New guy appears and starts saying an incantation. No one knows what he’s doing until he fires his last prism and incinerates Tyrone.*

      15. ObscureOdin

        *Gets whacked on the head and says,”Ok, stop! You win! No wait it’s a tie!” Gets whacked again and gets knocked out.*

      18. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        WHERE IS MY MINI SHARK?!?! Sure pretty much every one who plays Xbox has a S.D.M.G. (and yes it was added before It was a moon lord drop), BUT I STILL NEED A PEACE OFFERING! *Shoots a explosive wrench under Tyrone, blasting him towards the sun at the speed of light, giving him 8 minutes to think about his life before he dies.*

      23. SomethinSomethinTerrarian

        you dont have an S.D.M.G? i have all machine guns! clockwork, chain, mini, mega, everythin

      24. SomethinSomethinTerrarian

        anyway…*buys 1000 battle wrenches* *destroys approximately 546084975000 lihzard bricks* *grabs 5000 flame traps 5000 spike ball traps 5000 spear traps* amma build a hell cruiser and im hirin a crew 😀 unless nobody joins and ill have to resort to zombies and vampires :/. its gonna be filled with bunny cannons and cannons and dynamite and stuff! battle wrench cannon, battle wrench cannon cannon, flamethrowers! spike ball rain!and it can fly yaaaay! the blueprints are based off the hellboat but 50x bigger and made with lihzard bricks! and best of all… TWO ICE CREAM MAKERS!

      27. SomethinSomethinTerrarian

        I actually expected someone to complain about the bunny cannons… Ah well time to test the weapons *launches spike balls* *spike balls bounce everywhere and kills everything* *Tyrone goes near the group and says* “FINALLY I DIDNT DIE!!! Well hello Guys! My name is Ty…” *gets hit by 100 spike balls* ahh the cruel twists of fate… I forgot to add the Machine guns to the blueprint.. Ill just add them to the front and back deck… Thee we go

      37. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        1. Tyrone, I installed air conditioning, one of the air circulation types, so you did not blow us up.
        2. Dark Aeon, join us on this boat and all will be forgiven. Just don’t let Maxx on. And don’t forget I spawned him. so be careful.

      42. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        I KNOW! I’LL MAKE ONE THAT IS A JETPACK!!!!111 *Forces one on Tyrone deep space, a remotely triggers it.* WOW! A BLACK HOLE!!! Wait, where’s Tyrone?

      44. ILOVETHISCOMIC

        Um… Xane, why did when you appeared out of nowhere you chose to stand next to the black hole? oh ya- we are I’m in deep, black space and black hols are black. ANYWAY, if you do the impossible and escape the black hole, to do which you would have to go MUCH faster than LIGHT because you have a mass, you would turn into another black hole right because you would have infinite mass at the speed of light. so your dead either way. and I figured out what happened to Tyrone.

      45. ObscureOdin

        *”THAT’S IT!”, I yell and I take my familiar clothes off to reveal nebula armor and uses lunar portal staff to teleport Xane some where other than here and then uses portal gun to get on ship.*

      46. SomethinSomethinTerrarian

        ALARM UNFAMILIAR LIFE FORMS DETECTED!!!
        ACTIVATE THREAT SENSORS!!!
        Oh yeah i forgot to tell about the security…
        ALPHA THREAT DETECTED!!! ACTIVATE SECURITY MEASURE 76283-BH101!!!
        I have no idea what its saying but i will just go with the flow
        ACTIVATE MIND CONTROLLED GOLEMS!!!
        *40 Mind Controlled Golems Appear out of the blue and start shooting fire and blasting fists at Xane and Odin*
        They only attack intruders. You should have signed before you went into the cruiser.
        *40 fireballs go at odin and he burned in less than a fraction of a nanosecond*
        *Xane using his somewhat impressive skills to dodge most fireballs but gets hit in the arm by a fireball and he drops his sword whilst his arm wrinkles to the point of it being completely useless and unregeneratable*
        Thats gonna leave a mark

        Sorry for the walls of text.
        I am Filipino so i use asian time.
        So i try to keep up with large walls of text.
        Anyway… DEATH AND DESTRUCTION EVERYWHERE!!!!!

    2. Smurg

      Calm down everyone. This conflict can be settled peacefully. There is no reason behind acting like primitive barbarians.

      2. wizardess

        Unfortunately for shizzlord, the force of the golems’ fists and fire balls blew the ship up and everyone died

      10. ObscureOdin

        *Decides if he’s not allowed on the ship , he”ll just ask Zane if he can join, since he has all 4 endgame armor and weapons and obviously not wanted on the ship.

  31. commanderstitch

    So happy to see this going again! I’ve enjoyeded this much. Can’t wait for the new puns and jokes that come straight out of the new updates and stuff. New WORLD new CONTENIENT woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

      1. SomethinSomethinTerrarian

        what kind of life do you live? you cant even have some fun once in a while? spam refers to useless information and/or files that nobody ever asked for. on the other hand battle strings are simple role playing games that are relevant to some. Jesse wants us to have fun. and look at ALL these comments and tell me what percentage of this entire comment section says “JESSE LUV UR COMICS SO MUCH BRUHHH”. less than 10%? 5%? just shut up cause haters gonna hate.

  34. Awsonymous

    You shouldn’t wax poetic in immediate vicinity to sharks.
    At least I think it’s sharks. That’s not how sharks usually work IRL though, so maybe it’s a robotic laser shark.

  38. Chickenfromthefront

    Wait, has Gus suddenly acquired Stockholm Syndrome with Jesse telling us, ’cause I fail to see how that position with Sofia could be forced upon anybody.

  39. MegaMage

    Ahh… Cyril. I’d feel bad for you, but at this point it’s almost as if you were asking for that to happen.

  40. ofir2020

    was cyril always suchn accident just waiting to happen? i think you went a bit far with the “cyril is going to get hurt no matter what he does all the freaking time”… 😛

  43. Crimson king

    YES!!!!! they reached my second favorite biome in Terraria…. the ocean…so lovely until sharks and orcas and start annoying you

  46. Starblast16

    You know what I’m wondering? I wonder if when Jesse reveals the Gossamer Sword that Cenx and the rest of Re-Logic left on the development of Terraria would add it as a weapon on Terraria just like the Hammush.

  52. Maxx the player

    Hey guys I’m maxx from da comic I couldn’t figure out how you change pics oh well at least I’ll soon get sand shark hands also JESSE WHAT THE **** I LOVE JUNE WHY YOU GET RID OF MY LOVE FOR HER DUUUUDE P.S I was actually considering joining the niade but I didn’t P.P.S I think guidey is just a wimp and all ways walks into trouble P.P.S.S bai!

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